Hey moms! Here is our first official Questostimony: We asked our moms a question to get them thinking on how God sustains them and uses them in their families of boys. We’d love to hear from you, if you want to join in the discussion.
Question: Moms constantly struggle with feeling inadequate, like Bad Moms. Truthfully, we all have our weaknesses, but as we move into a new school year, what is one thing you want to warrior through, or that you actually have warriored through? One thing that after you did your rockstar thing, thought yeah, my kids are gonna be OK cuz they got ME.
We are using this bible verse to direct our thinking:
Joshua 1:9 (ESV)
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Julie: This question was posed to us just a few days before my kids were to start school. I was trying to help my son complete his Summer book report that was due on the first day. He had procrastinated (of course) and was going slooooooow. I tried to help. But it often ended in frustration for both of us. And tears. The experience was so maddening that I ended up hiding in my backyard and cried. Never done that before. I kept thinking about this question and couldn’t answer it because I felt completely inadequate. I don’t have any rockstar magic or brilliant ideas on how to make homework less stressful this year. I wish it wasn’t so hard. (FYI – not all kids struggle with their homework, one of my sons can get it done fairly easily) But my kids do have a mom that cares about their education and won’t give up on them. I will continue to model perseverance, apologies, forgiveness and give lots of hugs. We’ll get through it together.
Charissa: I am a mom of a child in TK at one school, and a 5th grader at our neighborhood school. The prospect of my boys playing with friends doesn’t happen easily..
They both have some friends in the neighborhood they can play with outside but not necessarily at their same school or same grades. So to make my sons school days a little less lonely at recess and lunchtime, I have to put forth some deliberate effort to plan “play dates.”
My sons need some extra opportunities especially at the beginning of the year to get to know some boys in their classrooms. A little extra time playing together outside of class can help ease the transition into a brand new school or new classroom. Yet I have been a bit resistant to planning play dates in the past! Planning out playtime with phone calls and emails just feels foreign. I am reluctant to the planning, effort, driving and/or hosting. I want it to be simpler like when I was a kid. I am in denial I guess. But I have taken time recently to re-frame this chore-mentality in my mind.
After all, helping train my children at their varying ages how to be a good friend, and how to make a good friend are skills that will serve them for life. Isn’t that a good investment of my parenting time? Building and maintaining friendships will shape their character and be useful in school, on teams, in a future job and one day in marriage. Looking at planned play dates in the bigger picture lens is helping me stay motivated.
As of today I have invites out for an after-school meet up at the park for my son in TK. He is at a brand new school with classmates he doesn’t know. So I have invited all of them to the park to play outside and have cupcakes to help celebrate my sons birthday. The birthday was the right excuse to plan a big group event until he can hone in a few friendships that are mutually ready to grow closer. My older son is choosing friends to know one at a time. So far I have driven to the skate-park, the community swimming pool, and hosted an indoor video game play-date. It is rewarding seeing their confidence increase and the happy anticipation of play dates. Including time into our weekly schedule to grow new friendships is time well spent and hopefully something I will start looking forward to each new school year.
Inez: Lord help me to be strong and courageous, help me remember that you are with me wherever I go, especially every weekday morning when I go into Isaiah’s room to wake him up. Please help him remember all the things I have commanded him to do, so he’ll be ready to get in the car at 8 a.m. Help us both be morning warriors to ensure we’ll have a great start to each beautiful day that you’ve created for us to enjoy in peace. This should be my prayer each morning to ensure peace and harmony in our house and to help Isaiah start the day with a positive attitude which could last the entire day.
Instead, it’s like a battlefield and were both wounded warriors by 8 a.m. I’m totally discouraged and feel it’s a loosing battle I’ll never conquer. We’ve been trying to master it for 6 years. I’m sure he dreads weekday mornings too, because I’m all over him like a drill Sargent. He’s not doing anything quick enough for me, he slowly marches to the beat of his own drum. Meanwhile the beat of my drum seems to be speeding up as I bark orders louder and quicker than he can possibly keep up.
What we’ve tried this past week is for him to do everything he needs to do (with no interference from me) to be ready to leave the house by 7:45 a.m. If he’s not ready by then, I am forced to help, hover, or yell at him to make sure whatever is undone gets done so we can leave the house by 8 a.m. There is tons of room for improvement for both of us. He’s going to go to bed earlier this week so he can get more rest and maybe the beat of his drummer will have a quicker pace in the mornings. I also need to go to bed earlier so I can start my day in prayer as I put the Armor of God on Isaiah and I which will give me more patience, it will fill our house with peace and will help us both be morning warriors.
Cheri: Well, I buy school supplies. I don’t like shopping for school supplies. I get anxiety if I missed out on a school supply sale and have to pay full price for something. Like I failed at mommy hood. I stress out at the teacher’s classroom supply lists because they will ask for “specific” brand, color, size etc. of supplies and I usually think, well this glue stick is 50 cents but the requested glue stick is $2.50. Same size! Then the store is all out of the black notebooks. They only have yellow. Does that mean I have to go to another store? This year I’m following the lists to the best of my ability, getting the brand color etc., that works for me. Rebellious? Yes. But I’m a rock star ‘cause I’m saving my sanity and I know my kids are gonna survive, and probably even thrive, despite my weakness in shopping. I’m sending them to school with cheap glue sticks and yellow notepads and the only 2 inch binders left in the store had pictures of the Warriors basketball team on them. Sorry. Plain white is all gone. Best part of all, in my weakness, I know these boys have to be covered in prayer. So go with God my sons!!! What separates this year from the rest is that we will deal with the consequences of my shopping decisions together as a family. I’m not taking this on alone and I’m gonna show my kids that God has got us!!!! With or without the perfectly identical school supplies as everyone else. I’m warrioring on by giving it to God and not stressing.