It’s coming up. This Sunday. The biggest day of failed expectations and disappointments.
I know I’m not the only one, but I’m still embarrassed to admit that I’ve thrown more than a few pity parties because this love day didn’t turn out how I wanted.
I’m just hoping I won’t ruin a perfectly normal day for my family because of my own sad let-down. Which usually just happens all in my head. I actually have a very loving family.
It’s crazy up in there. In my head. There is a stirring of fantasies and desires to receive grande expressions of love. Love that will make me melt with happiness and make life worth all the living.
Usually the dream includes flowers, poems, awesome get-aways. Of course, I have a new cute outfit, husband smells amazing, and the kids’ faces are clean. If the fateful morning even begins off-kilter from my expectations, I start to inwardly pout.
A thought will overtake my mind: “Valentine’s Day won’t happen for me if I don’t make it happen”. Love is up to me. I’ve got to give love to get love.
Oh, I’m a smart one. My kids can’t be “expected” to give love. They need to be “taught” how to give love. I will teach them. Kids, let’s make these awesome Valentines! Kids, I will make you heart-shaped pancakes!! Kids, listen to the many reasons why I love you!!! Let’s all group-hug!
I’m a genius wife too. My husband can’t be “expected” to give love. Love must be given to him. I will call him and sing “I just called to say I love you”!!! 🎶 I will text him a sweet love note. I will cook up a favorite meal!!!!
But at the end of the day, I will be sad. I will be resentful. I will act out in frustration and anger that nobody loves me on this special day of love! Boo! Hoo! on me. In all the loving I have done, I was expecting something in return.
I didn’t give beautiful selfless love that my family deserves. Love that gives life. I was giving to receive. And when my unspoken expectations failed, I moaned “yeah, who am I to think that I would receive good love anyway…”
This year is a new year. And God is in the business of making all things new. Even me. The way He is making me new?
He is surprising me with Love.
A new song came out by Chris Tomlin a few months back. A song that is changing my life. Because I am daring to believe the lyrics.
Take a listen: A Good Good Father
The guy starts out singing about his personal experience with God:
I’ve heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night
And You tell me that you’re pleased
And that I’m never alone
How I enjoy whispers of love. God’s love is eternal, supreme, and available to me anytime I want it. ❤️. Even in my darkest moments.
Somewhere in the middle the song sings words straight out of the bible, about what God can do:
Cause You know just what we need
Before we say a word
Oh how I long to feel secure and loved in the daily grind of life. God does that for me in my chaos and loneliness.
This Valentine’s day I want to lean into God’s love for me. Believing that I am His, and He is mine. ❤️. And that truth is more than enough love for any and all Valentine’s days.
But, why am I surprised?
The other day, I bought a chocolate for my husband, Mike. His favorite. While making dinner, I thought, “If I want to have Valentine’s chocolate, I have to buy it myself.”
I dug into the grocery bag, found that chocolate I bought for my husband, and ate it up. Not two minutes later, Michael walks in the door, with a heart-shaped box of chocolates for me. Can we just say “It’s not even Valentine’s day yet”?
God knows that I crave displays of affection from my husband that I didn’t verbally ask for. ❤️
I confessed my negative thinking to Mike, and was surprised again. Mike was understanding and sweet. We laughed about it and shared the chocolate with our kids.
Later, I found a bunch of sparkly heart cut outs. “Mom, those are for you.” A sweet gift to decorate the fridge.
God knew I wondered if my boys thought about me in ways other than “how will you feed me?”
Michael shared with me this week that he wants to “study” me. Huh? In essence, he wants me to know how much he loves me and is willing to show me how he notices me.
Honestly, I have longed to hear something like that for many years. And my husband is backing those words with beautiful actions that I don’t feel I deserve. God knows what I need. And He is providing in ways beyond what I can dream up in my head.
This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. 1John 4:10.
God’s love is way bigger and better than the love of a husband or our children. Even so, He shows us love in a language we can understand. Through our people. God delights in surprising us with Love. May we believe in an eternal love. The love that saves us and makes us new: God’s love.
What are your thoughts on love and Valentine’s Day? Have you been surprised by God?