I always wanted boys. When I was in high school I decided (as if it was in my control) that I would have five boys. Today, I am Mom to three boys. Aged 7, 5, and 2. I am so glad to be a mom of boys. When I find myself making sound effects to illustrate a point, I know I am a mom of boys, and was born to be. And I am proud. Thankful! That God gave me the significant role of mom of boys.
the grass looks greener on the other side. If only I had a girl. Maybe I would get more unsolicited help around this house. If only I had a girl. I would have someone to girl-talk with coloring with pink and playing with hair. Doing our nails. If only I had a girl….
Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Jeremiah 1:5
I saw a friend’s post on Facebook showing off her darling girls having a tea party with their bunny. They were wearing sweet little hats around a sweet little table and I think even the sweet soft bunny wore a hat! The sweetness and calm order of it all! I sighed out loud via the comments section and my friend surprised me with her reply, “boys can have tea parties too!”
I let myself remember.
My boys do love when I pull out the antique china at holidays. They do always bend their pinky finger when they sip from a teacup…
I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.Psalm 57:2
Meanwhile, my three kids were wandering around the house and backyard wondering what to do. I had suspended all [their] screen time so that they could make the most of the summer day: being an “old-school” kind of kid, creatively playing with the things around them. You know, like sticks and rocks. Their little brains were getting tired of being aimless and I could tell they were very near the “Mom, I’m bored” threshold.
So I decided to give it a try.
“Boys! Come here! For lunch today we will have a tea party!”
My excitement was contagious. The boys obeyed my loud commands and started getting dressed up in their finest costumes. I insisted that they find a great hat. There was rummaging through clothes and shoes, digging in the closet and rustling about trying to find the perfect outfit.
Wally (5) changed several times, wishing that his pants were the same. exact. color. as his shirt. Gray. or Black. He couldn’t find his shoes.
Baby, who is really a toddler, but, because he is the youngest, we still call him “Baby”, insisted on coming to Tea naked. I tried to force some pants and a shirt on him. I pulled out the cutest little bow tie, imagining the adorable pinterest-worthy pictures I would take of him. The struggle was intense, however, and he screamed his shrieking toddler screams. Exasperating.
Mo found his outfit quickly. He wore black pants that flooded up past his ankles.
I guess he needs new black pants. He paired them with a gray button up vest over his black tshirt. And then he clipped on a red tie at the “v” of his vest. He topped it off with a black fedora. I foolishly scolded his outfit. He’s Mosely. My oldest. He is expected to understand exactly what is in my brain. Without me telling him. Poor kid. I was disappointed that he didn’t pick the suspenders.
“Put on a collared shirt Mo. So that you can wear the tie correctly…You can’t wear those pants, they are too small.” The tone in my voice was increasingly irritated.
See where this is going?
Not. fun. for the boys. Not. fun. for me. Mo decided that this was dumb and he didn’t want to wear a hat anymore. And he didn’t want to wear a tie either. This was not going to end well if i didn’t get my act together and let the boys be who they wanted to be.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33
I came back to their room to display the lunch.
“What do you mean?” I asked back.
“Who is coming over?”
“Why are we all dressed up?”
“Nobody is coming over, buddy. The tea party is just for us. We are dressed up Just For Fun!”
“Just for us?”
The boys sat down to their tea party. There was crying over who would sit where. I think we forgot to pray. I decided to just sit back on the rocking chair and watch them experience a tea party on their own.
“More juice please”. So polite!
Never mind that if the kid had his choice he would drink juice all day instead of eat food. I’m offsides watching so I don’t insist he eat something before more juice. His big brother kindly passed the teapot.
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31
The boys started dictating aloud what they were going to do next. “Now I’m going to eat my apple.”
Mosely tried to hold his teacup in a “regular” boy style, but decided it couldn’t be done comfortably. Baby said, “I already holded my cup soooo nicely.”
“Mo, do you want to ‘cheers’?”
They gently clinked their tea cups together. “Cheers!” they both called out.
Wally’s sweet voice dropped an octave lower. “Soldiers cheer hard so their cups break”. Uh-oh. Here comes the boy.
“And then they laugh cuzzz they like it.” They like things breaking. [Insert slithery snake sound effect].
Wally poured his juice back into the teapot because there was no more juice.
“Now, we have more juice!”
“I wish we had a BIG tea party!”
I ask from the sidelines what the boy means. Turns out he wants to share this fun tea party idea with his friends and his cousins.
Mo tries again to hold the tea cup ‘boy’ style. Man style. Bear style.
…we have received an inheritance from God, for He chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan. Ephesians1:11
“Watch this Mo! Wait! I can’t get my finger out.” Wally tugs and pulls his thumb out of the teacup handle.
“Ok. Jeremiah is the mom. I’m the dad. And Mo is the uncle.”
I chime in, “Wait, why is Jeremiah the mom?”
“No, I’m the uncle, you’re the dad.” pointing to big bro Mo.
“And he’s the Grampa.” I intrude, pointing to Jeremiah.
“BUT! We neeeeeed a mom!” Something like a silent wave of shock and awe splashed over me. My rough and tumble boys want a mom. They love the mom. They need a mom.
As my heart tank was suddenly filling up to the rim, my phone rang. I answered the call and left the room…
I returned to find Mosely.
He had been quiet for most of the tea party. Just eating and taking it all in.
I returned to find that he had cleared every. single. fragile. dish. off the table and took them back to the kitchen. To show his appreciation for the fun lunch.
That love tank? Overflowing with gratitude for my boys.
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10
There are so many days when I feel like I don’t belong in my own family. The wrestling, physical combat, competition, the simple, no-fuss mindsets, (a complicated girl could use some company at home), the dirt…
But today’s tea party showed me that God placed me in this family. That I am needed in this family. Raising these boys is a special purpose-filled life. I can add warmth and fun, and teach my sons a few things as they grow into men. Tea parties are definitely for boys too.
And I love that God gave me boys.